i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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