I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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