Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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