I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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