Joe is yelling at the trees again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
