i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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