The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Quick, to the slutcave!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
