there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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