my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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