Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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