Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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