I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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