And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
