Me too!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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