some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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