wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
