I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
