i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
