It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
