Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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