you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
