i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
