i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
