Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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