There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
