after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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