clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
