what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
