I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
