Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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