Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
