I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
