I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
