Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
