I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize