I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
