so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
