remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
