You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Four minutes until I can fart!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
