Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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