After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
