I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
