capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
