At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
