we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
