Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
