how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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