Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
