time to smoke my breakfast
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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