But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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