There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
