420 ftw
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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