wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
