You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
