sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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