I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize