Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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